When you’re focused on a newborn, getting adequate sleep isn’t always easy. Here’s how to get enough well-deserved rest.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it: A whopping 67 percent of American women, regardless of whether they’re a parent, have trouble sleeping. If you’re one of the lucky women who has never experienced sleep issues before becoming a mom, when you have a baby, you might be surprised that lack of sleep can be an issue. 

Not every new parent is going to experience major sleep issues, of course. But here is the cold, hard truth: Parenthood brings sleep interruptions galore, especially in the first few months. One study shows that more than half of parents report losing two or more more hours of sleep for about the first 12 weeks of their baby’s life. Another study indicates that “socioeconomically disadvantaged/racial/ethnic minority mothers” typically face ongoing sleep disruptions at 5 months postpartum, with fewer than half getting the recommended seven hours of sleep per night. 

Sometimes, the sleep interruptions are:

• Practical: Your baby has middle-of-the-night needs to address. 
• Biological: Your regular circadian rhythms are disrupted due to inconsistent bedtimes and waking times, which prevent you from getting deep sleep.
• Physical: Pain or discomfort stemming from pregnancy, labor, or postpartum conditions such as mastitis makes it hard to rest, let alone sleep.
• Routine-oriented: Without good sleep hygiene, you are having a hard time falling or staying asleep.
• Psychological: Parents with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) are significantly more likely to suffer from sleep deprivation. 
• Hormonal: A mother’s hormone levels significantly change during pregnancy and after delivery. Oxytocin alone can keep a mom on heightened alert. 

Sometimes, of course, you’ll experience a combination of these sleep interruption factors, along with a running (and increasingly long) list of to-dos in your brain that makes it hard to snooze. 

Try not to worry. Postpartum sleep struggles don’t necessarily signal a new and permanent state of affairs. This guide is designed to provide you with a better understanding of why you need sleep (and what qualifies as adequate sleep for parents of infants), what can keep you awake (beyond baby-related interruptions), how to better prepare for and optimize the sleep you do manage to get, and what to do when all your valiant efforts still result in #sleepfail.

Why is sleep so important?

Before we dig into how to repair broken-up sleep cycles, it’s worth looking into why sleep is important in the first place. We innately know that we feel better when we get enough sleep—and worse when we don’t. The most obvious red flags of insufficient sleep show up in mood changes (irritability) and cognitive function (forgetfulness, poor concentration). 

Proper and adequate sleep also keeps us healthy in ways that aren’t as obvious. As behavioral sleep medicine psychologist Dr. Shelby Harris says, “Sleep at night is meant to make our days better.” If it’s not, we need to look at why we aren’t sleeping—and how to turn things around.

What’s keeping me awake?

We talked to Dr. Shelby Harris about what happens during the pregnancy and postpartum periods, as it pertains to sleep. Sleep interruptions abound when you’re taking care of a baby with needs around the clock, but there’s more to perinatal sleep issues than infant care. Your hormones are working for you and your baby, but against you and your sleep cycles. Rest assured, there are things that you can do to get better sleep when seemingly all else has failed.

Hormones and baby needs aside, interpersonal and environmental factors can also impact your sleep. These short audio excerpts highlight one parent’s issues with being exhausted, staying asleep, and attempting to coordinate the sleep schedules of multiple children.

You’re not alone in your quest for a good night’s sleep as a new parent. You’re basically renegotiating sleep and your relationship to it. To adapt to these changes, you’ll need some tactics and strategies. But if your child is sleeping better, and you are not, then it’s time to get some help.

How do I optimize my naps? 

With time being a precious resource, and sleep being a coveted activity, it’s great to approach naps with a little planning and everything you need at the ready. A healthy mind-set can translate into new habits. 

Napping is so important that Dr. Laurie Jones, a pediatrician and founder of Dr. MILK (Mothers Interested in Lactation Knowledge), writes prescriptions for two daytime naps of 20 to 40 minutes each. 

“As long as you’re in a dark, quiet room, and you’re lying down, your cortisol levels and heart rate come down, your breathing slows, and your metabolic rate goes down—even if you don't sleep,” she says. 

Regardless of whether you fall asleep, physical rest during the day (especially away from the blue light of screens) can be very rejuvenating.

Here’s how to optimize those quiet moments:

• Set boundaries. Have someone you trust take care of your baby’s needs while you are resting. This will help you relax.
• Time it right. Try to nap in the late morning or early afternoon so your daytime sleep doesn’t negatively impact your nighttime sleep.
• Set up your space. Turn off the lights, and close the blinds. Keep some things handy that might help you fall asleep, such as an eye mask, white-noise machine, or a book.
• Avoid screens. Try not to use any screens. Not only can your engagement with the digital realm be stimulating, but the blue light they emit suppresses the sleep hormone melatonin, making it more difficult to rest.
• Get cozy. Engage your senses, such as brushing your teeth, wrapping yourself in a fuzzy blanket, listening to bird songs, or smelling fresh lavender.
• Keep it short. Aim to limit your nap to an hour. Deep sleep can interfere with your night sleep, and 15- to 20-minute power naps can boost your energy.
• Let go. Lie down in a comfortable position, and try to feel gratitude for this solo time. Don’t force the nap; just focus on how good it feels to relax your body.

How do I improve my nighttime sleep?

Improving your relationship with sleep likely means taking a multipronged approach. Here are some tools to implement simultaneously—or one at a time—depending on your situation and needs. 

Try one—or all—of these tips for better sleep, tonight.

• Get plenty of daylight. Exposure to daylight is important for setting your circadian rhythms. Daylight is energizing, and the earlier you’re exposed to it, the better, says Chris Raines, a perinatal psychiatric nurse practitioner. Open your blinds or curtains as soon as you wake up, and if you can, take a stroll (solo or with your baby) outdoors.
• Shift your mind-set. Aim for four uninterrupted hours of sleep. Depending on your circumstances and level of partner support, your block could be 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., or 3 a.m. to 8 a.m. Starting out, you might need to split the night up into two- or three-hour blocks.
• Prep your sleep space. Keep what you need during waking sessions close at hand, so you’re not fumbling in the dark. Think: a snack, water, nightlight, burp cloth, diaper-changing pad (with diapers and wipes), white-noise machine, and/or eye mask. If you’re planning on bottle feeding, have the bottle ready; if you’re planning on pumping, keep your pump close.
• Block the blue light. Research shows that scrolling through articles or social posts on your phone can keep you awake and make it more difficult to fall back asleep. Dr. Laurie Jones, pediatrician and founder of Dr. MILK (Mothers Interested in Lactation Knowledge), says blue light-blocking glasses can help, if you need to use your phone.
• Bury your trigger apps. Dr. Jones suggests that you bury your "trigger apps" (social media or work-related apps) in a folder within a folder so that you won't be tempted to check them during night feeds. If you do access them, it can elevate your cortisol, stressing you out and making it difficult to return to sleep.
• Set consistent sleep and wake times. Going to bed and waking up for the day at consistent times helps set and maintain your circadian rhythms, says research from the Cleveland Clinic. Such habits go a long way toward regulating your sleep cycle.
• Wind down. An hour before you want to sleep, step away from screens—your phone, computer, TV, etc. “Electronics can be stimulating, keeping you awake instead of letting you fall asleep,” says Chris Raines, a perinatal psychiatric nurse practitioner. The emitted blue light can also disrupt your body’s production of the sleep hormone melatonin.
• Take a warm shower or bath before bed. Warm water helps relax and soothe the nervous system. And psychologically, it can feel really good to wash the stress of the day off your body.
• Use essential oils. Raines recommends lavender and sandalwood for their relaxing qualities. You can add these oils to a diffuser in your room, or spritz your sheets with a spray. But you might find other scents (such as chamomile, cedarwood, or eucalyptus) just as calming. Feel free to experiment!
• Lie down with the lights off and eyes closed. Sometimes you’ll be able to sleep; sometimes you won’t. Don’t underestimate the power of resting, even for 20 to 30 minutes, without distractions. Do your best to lie down in a room with the lights off or dimmed. Feel free to close the blinds or draw the curtains.

What does having good sleep hygiene mean?

Properly setting up your sleep space, trying to go to bed and wake up at consistent times, and avoiding things like screens at bedtime will help get the postpartum sleep your body needs.

Your baby will likely start to sleep for longer stretches in the first couple of months, which should theoretically make it easier for you to rest too. It’s not always the case, but parents don’t have to accept perpetually inadequate sleep. 

“If your child is sleeping better, and you are not, then it’s time to get some help,” Dr. Harris says.

Where can I find more support?

If you think you need a professional to assist in managing your sleep issues, there are a few resources we can recommend that can provide you with more information and options. 

Society for Behavioral Sleep Medicine offers resources that include a searchable database of therapists close to home (or available via telehealth) who specialize in behavioral sleep medicine and sleep disorders.

Canopie creates a customized guide for parents struggling with postpartum issues, including insomnia, anxiety, and depression. It uses several different approaches, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Research shows that CBT can help prevent and alleviate perinatal depression and anxiety, which often impacts postpartum sleep.