Introducing the Mom Chat by Willow — a new series diving into conversations that light up your group text at all hours of the day (and night). When you’re wondering if the latest sleep regression, food refusal, or maddeningly short nap is par for the course, look no further than right here. We’ve got answers straight from the experts (aka the lactation consultants, sleep consultants, pediatric nutritionists, and others that we keep on hand to answer your questions).

Six-month birthday. You know which foods you’re going to start with. You’ve practiced cutting fruits and vegetables into thick slices that they can safely hold in their fist and gnaw on without choking. You’ve explained to your mother-in-law (about ten times, thank you very much) that gagging and choking are two different things — and that the former is okay when monitored properly.

You sit your baby in the high chair, put a big piece of banana on the tray, and … nothing. They won’t reach for the food, they’re not interested in holding it, and they certainly don’t bring it to their mouth. You worry that they aren’t trying the banana, so you mash it up, put it in a spoon, and they happily gobble it up.

What’s the deal??

According to the team at Solid Starts, experts on all things table food and the creators of the First Foods Database (which teaches parents how to safely introduce non-pureed foods to babies), some babies aren’t ready when they turn six months old. Maybe they’re not yet able to sit or control their head with enough support, maybe they’re not able to reach and grab for something and bring it to their mouth, or maybe they’re just not interested. (Milk is still pretty compelling, after all.)

Give it a week or two, and try again.

You’ve likely struggled to get your baby to take the breast or bottle when they’re distracted by something that’s happening around them. (Toddler screaming, anyone?) The same goes for eating!

It’s important to try and create a calm and quiet space when introducing your baby to the world of table foods. That means no TV blaring in the background, no Instagram-scrolling, and if you can help it, no yelling in the background. (Not only will this likely help your baby focus on the task at hand, it will also help them keep them safe.)

The team at Solid Starts explains that bigger pieces of food aren’t just safer for babies to eat — they may be more compelling and pique your baby’s interest. After all, it’s likely that your baby is used to playing with bigger toys that they can easily grab and explore with their hands.

“Bigger pieces of food provide baby with a fun challenge but aren’t too difficult to reach, grasp, and move around with their tongue. When tasks are too hard, babies may give up and (in their own way) say, “No, thanks!”

There are plenty of grown adults who avoid certain foods (hello, avocado and banana) due to their texture. So it’s understandable that babies may need a while to get comfortable with the way things feel.

“Some children with sensory issues require a period of just looking at food and perhaps smelling it before they are ready for touch,” says the team at FeedingPlus, an organization offering feeding and nutrition therapy. “The key with self-feeding (and all feeding) is not to push or force. If your child is not yet ready to touch foods, just start with looking and modeling the behavior.”

There are a number of reasons that a baby might be hesitant to embrace table foods, but as long as you remember not to force them, and to model the behaviors you want to see, things will likely work themselves out.